Hiya! I’m writing from my hotel room in Boulder, Colorado, with a gorgeous view of the (I’m not sure which) mountains in the distance:
I got here last night after spending a week in Seattle with my nephews (more about that in a minute). The drive from the Denver airport was spectacular – as if someone had scheduled a glorious sunset to celebrate my arrival:
It was such a jaw-droppingly amazing sight that I actually had to pull the car over to let myself drink it all in. These pictures don’t even come close to doing it justice, and the 40 mile drive to my hotel was over way too soon. Being around so much natural beauty puts me in such a blissful, joyful, peaceful state of mind – I wasn’t even slightly upset when I accidentally drove through a toll without paying (note to self, I need to call those Go-Pass people and figure out what to do – and hope they don’t charge me a fine!).
This morning I went for a run along the Boulder Creek:
More gorgeous-ness. Ahhhh. I did find out that running at 5000+ feet altitude is much harder than running at sea level. I was sucking wind after about a half mile and had to spend most of my 3.5 mile adventure doing walk/run intervals.
Unfortunately, today is my last day of holiday before getting back to work – I’m here on business and have a meeting at 7:30 tonight but there’s still a few hours left for fun today! So I’m going to make the most of this afternoon and walk around the shops of Boulder, check out an art festival down the street, and find a fabulous restaurant for a late lunch.
Last week my husband and I had the pleasure of spending a week in Seattle watching his sister’s children while she was out of town. We stayed at their home in Capitol Hill and played parents for the week – getting them up and ready for school, making lunches, cooking dinner, doing laundry, signing permission slips, helping with homework, etc. Neither of us has ever been inclined to have kids, and this was a completely new experience for both of us. To our delight, we had a great time hanging out with the boys (12 and 15) and were really sad when our week ended and it was time to go.
During our few free moments we managed to get some time to run in a couple different locations, and even met up with a local legend, Barefoot Ted (more about that in a different post). Here’s one of my favorite runs around Green Lake:
But despite all the fun & excitement in my life lately, I’m still struggling with food. I dropped out of WW thinking that the diet mentality was getting to me. After a few weeks of adjusting, I managed to get myself back into a nice routine and got back down to my lowest WW weight of 209. Unfortunately, for the past few weeks I’ve been having a hard time sticking to my guiding principles – lots of fruit & veg, portion control, only eating when hungry – and I have to say I’ve really been eating out of control. I’m sure part of this is due to being away from home, but honestly I had no excuse last week. We went shopping at Whole Foods and bought all my standard go-to foods, and only ate out a couple times. But instead of making myself a smoothie every morning, I walked down to the local coffee shop and came back with pastries in addition to my coffee. I also had a couple glasses of wine every evening (which is not part of my normal routine) and portion control went completely out the window. My pants are starting to feel a little snug and I’m getting a little worried that I won’t be able to steer myself back on course!
In fact, to be totally honest, I’m really worried. It seemed like the last 40 pounds just sort of fell away but now I’ve hit a plateau. Not a physical plateau, where I’m eating in control but my weight has stalled, but more like a mental plateau. I can’t seem to get back into my groove! The choices I’m making are out of alignment with my goals but it seems like I’m compelled to eat ‘just one more treat before I get back on track’. This is such a slippery slope and I have GOT to turn it around!
One thing I’ve noticed about myself lately is that although I have a lot of aspirations and goals, I have been spending very little time working on them, and a lot more time doing things that I consider time-wasters. I constantly think about:
- Writing more on this blog and the UnDieting Divas blog
- Becoming certified as a group fitness instructor and teaching a weight lifting class
- Putting a lot more time into building up the UnDieting Divas support group
- Designing a proper website for the UnDieting Divas
- Quitting my job and starting a business as a personal trainer or weight loss counselor
- Becoming a part-time health and fitness writer
- Losing the next 60 pounds
- Running a half-marathon
Instead of doing these things, however, I:
- Spend a lot of time playing Facebook games
- Watch endless episodes of Hoarders and What Not To Wear
- Shop for things I really don’t need
- Eat when I’m bored, frustrated, sad, etc.
So there you have it. My reality and my goals are not in alignment and I suspect if I spent more time working on my wish list and less time on the ‘time-waster’ list I would not only make progress towards achieving those goals, but also begin dropping weight again. The things on the second list add no value to my life and I’m not sure why I’m spending so much time on them when I truly want to do the things on the first. Perhaps it’s because a lot of those goals are far in the distance and seem unattainable in the immediate future – and rather than take put in the effort towards achieving them I decide to ‘numb out’ by doing other things that require no effort at all.
Aside from running regularly, I’m not putting any effort into moving myself forward, and thus I’m stagnating right where I am. That’s my ‘Aha’ moment right there. I’m stagnating because it’s easier than moving forwards.
One thing I’ve learned from running over the past 6 months is that you have to start somewhere and every little bit gets you closer to your goal! I started in March by running 0.5 km at a painfully slow pace, and over the past 6 months I’ve built up to running 5 km at a less painfully slow pace…and instead of thinking about how far I had to go, I just focused on completing each workout to the best of my ability. Progress happened when I took things slowly and didn’t try to do everything at once – and it also happened because I was consistent in my efforts – I ran 3 times per week with no exceptions – I ran even when I didn’t feel like running – and it paid off.
There’s a real lesson for me there – I need to pick a couple of my goals and divide them up into smaller, manageable chunks, and then focus just on those pieces without worrying about the endpoint. And I need to make sure I spend time each day working towards those goals instead of just saying ‘oh, I can do it tomorrow’. While I’m wandering around Boulder today I’m going to give it some thought – and I’ll post my plan this evening!
What about you – what do you do when you feel like you’re doing the exact opposite of what you want to do?